and she was petting her beer can
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
