apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
