You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
