come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
