Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
