I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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