I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
