I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
