Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
