: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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