so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize