It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
