i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
