Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
