everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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