he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
