I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
