i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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