Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
