She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
