Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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