What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
