It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize