think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
