So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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