Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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