I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
