Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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