In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
