Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
