she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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