this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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