If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
True strength comes from lack of pants
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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