This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
