I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
