I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
