he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
