You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
