can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
