is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
