so that wasnt chicken after all
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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