And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
