We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
