wat bout pragnant strippers??
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
