butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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