Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
