She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
