Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
