I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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