hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
