At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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