I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Randomize
