I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
