But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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