remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize