Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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