'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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